To say the least, this summer is one I will never forget. From the people I have met to the experiences I've had.
I had an opportunity last week to reflect on what exactly I've been through this summer. It has been incredible. I feel so close to my staff. They are family. It was one of my biggest fears that me and my staff wouldn't get to know each other and we wouldn't have the fellowship that comes with serving God together. God answered this prayer and has done even more than that.
We are now talking about what is going to happen after the summer. How are we going to keep in touch. These people who I spend twenty four hours a day with are incredible. They define what it means to work hard. The encourage me not to cut corners, and they make me want to be better.
We finally hit our stride. We are getting through staff meetings early, we are able to talk with each other as friends. There is very little we keep from each other.
I can't believe we are going to be leaving each other in three weeks. It saddens me. My mind is in conflict with this reality. On the one hand I can not wait to be home and be able to just stop and do nothing (if only for a week before school starts again). Also with home comes family, comfort, friends, and future. All of these things are great and I am ready to embrace these things again.
However, this job (if it can actually be called a job) has brought about so much knowledge. I feel comfortable determining which size of fastener needs to be going into which type of wood. I feel as if I know how and could instruct people on how to build a porch, wall, stairs, roofing. Construction is not the only thing I've learned this summer. I am learning that people do things differently than we ask them. Sometimes putting in insulation is not just putting in insulation. Sometimes, people don't do exactly as you say and there is nothing that can be done.
God has taught me about being flexible. We need to go with the punches. I thought I had already mastered this ability. The idea that I have mastered something like changing my plans due to others mistakes was laughable before ASP. Group leaders however smart they are, definitely taught me how to truly be flexible.
Group leaders have also given me great joy. I will never forget a group leader from week two asking if this was my first year with ASP and then being shocked and saying, "I've been to ASP for 7 years and you are the best male leader I have ever had."
Furthermore, GL's that say to me that I have been incredibly encouraging to them and have helped their ASP experience be a success have touched me greatly. These people are being impacted daily and what they don't realize is that they are impacting me more than I can possibly impact them.
The group leaders, volunteers, and the people we are serving have taught me more than I could have ever asked for.
The landscape here is so beautiful. I love this area, the winding roads are kind of annoying but it is amazing none the less. Every time I look outside I see Ecuador. This is continually surprising me. Why am i stuck on thinking about Ecuador. What is going on. I drive through areas where mountains surround me and all I can think about is how these mountains remind me so much of Ecuador. I miss Ecuador and the bustling city sitting on the mountains. This is a good thing in my mind because I never want to forget the experience I had in Ecuador. God changed me so much there and if it wasn't for that trip I am not sure if I would be with ASP now.
As the summer passes my mind drifts to the difficulties that await me going home. College, work, money, grades. All of these things cause me to worry, and doubt. ASP has been such a release, it has caused me to stop and think about something completely different.
I feel as if my summer can be described with this story.
Week 1 in Morgan county:
me: Hey guys can we start to shotgun monsters (it's an energy drink and a crazy way to drink a beverage real quickly usually done with beer, but because we are not drinking alcohol we use monsters)?
Penny: Oke doke smokey!
Jolean: I don't drink energy drinks they are bad for your teeth
Mikah: Do what you want but don't die
Me and Penny proceed to buy Monsters cut a hole in the bottom and attempt to shotgun these monsters. About fifty percent of this energy drink ends up on my shirt and neck while Penny just slowly finishes hers.
My thoughts were that I did pretty well for this being my first shotguned beverage ever.
Week 2:
Penny to me: You ready Freddy?
Me: For what?
Penny: Shotgun monday!
Me: Yes totally I swear I am going to get better at this, Jolean come shotgun with us!
Jolean: Eww
(Mikah is doing work right now)
Me and Penny go shotgun monsters, once again I need to change my shirt afterwords because I suck at it. Penny somewhat finishes kinda.
My thoughts, well I didn't really improve any this week but at least I am trying.
Week 3:
Pretty much the same conversations as before with me and Penny shotgunning with the CPO of ASP of which he beats me and leaves me feeling embarrassed. However, I did improve this week. I had just made a small mistake. But I get the concepts.
Week 4:
We decided to up the days of shotgunning Monsters to two a week because Penny's parents bought us a large amount of Monster. But I have become a fairly good Monster shotgunner. I don't ever need to change my shirt after I shotgun and I have good form.
Now try if you would to relate this to how my life has been spiritually, physically, and mentally this summer so far. The first week I definitely was not good at what I was doing at all. I had to have instructions on everything. Week 2 I was able to start to do a little on my own but overall I was still a noob and there was no way I could have done things on my own. Week 3: I felt comfortable enough with where I was at to try and go it alone and I was willing to crash and burn in front of our CPO if I was going to. Week 4 things seem to have clicked. I am able to work well with what I need to do, and am feeling comfortable with all of my projects.
As far as my spiritual life has been going I hope everyone can see the way God has moved in me even though the time to sit and be still in front of Him hasn't been present. I am making my way through Acts and I feel like I am reading stuff I've never read. One verse keeps coming into my mind. It talks about how is it possible to be judgmental towards the people God has chosen.
I have gotten to work with all sorts of people this summer and some have been better than others, but God has chosen each and every one of them to use as His instruments. Praise God for this.
Probably the most frustrating part of this summer is that I am not able to show the people I really care about back home what exactly I do here. It is so hard to explain everything that happens on ASP without them being here.
So what happens next? Where do I go from here. I am over halfway done with the summer and school starts soon. What is going to happen when I get back home?
This question is placed in my blog for a very specific reason. My biggest prayer request right now is decisions about school. I have a lot of conflict on where I should go this next semester. I don't want to go crazy in debt, but I feel like if I don't get moving in school then the chances of me becoming a doctor become less and less likely. I know my heart is in helping others, but is medicine where God is leading me? I feel as if I am having to fight my way toward the goal I feel God has set before me. I see other ways that I can help people. Ways I am good at, where I can succeed. So the biggest request for me right now is that God would clear my mind of all my doubts and would show me how I am supposed to deal with this newest school obstacle.
I miss all of you back home and I wish you were here with me. I love you all and know that I think about you daily.
No comments:
Post a Comment