Right now I am sitting in a Starbucks listening to bluegrass music typing away at my computer. I remember week one of ASP in Morgan County where I left Sunbright High school and left to go find a Starbucks and sit, listen to bluegrass, and type away.
The difference here is I have a coat with me, there is snow outside, Christmas music is on, I have 4G connection on my phone, and I have to pay for the gas my car is taking up.
But i am still here. I still feel like I am in Appalachia just waiting for the next work order. The next group leader meeting. The next order to come in. So many things. I miss ASP. It is something I think about daily. And unfortunately I feel like my friends are getting tired of me talking about it all the time. I know if I were in their shoes I would be very annoyed at me for saying, "Well at ASP we..." or "ha yea did I ever tell you the time at ASP."
One thing for sure is I have my one liner down so well. I worked for a christian organization that focuses on preforming emergency home repair for people who are living in poverty. It's surprisingly hard not to go into talking for hours about ASP. It's hard for people just to say, "Oh that's nice, it sounds like you learned a lot over the summer."
ASP did so much more than just give me something to do over the summer. Man the life lessons I learned. I still haven't gotten fully out of the habit of getting up early and having a full day. I am not intimidated by much anymore. I can talk to people about things that I never could before. In a way... I've grown up. I sit at Starbucks or Caribou and I think about how far I've come since that first week at ASP.
God has done so much. I had a conversation with a guy I met the other day about different injustices in the world. Naturally he went to Africa, and China with the poverty and religious persecution that happen every day there. I listened and I do feel a surging in my body when I hear about the problems that are in those areas. However I couldn't Angie, Big Dave, or Wormy out of my mind. I said, "Have you heard of mountaintop removal?" Naturally this guy said,
"Nope"
How is it that something that affects so many people in the US doesn't even make the news here? What about the poor people in this country.
As I type this I feel judgement. I feel anger and confusion as to why people don't want to help close to home first. I know this is wrong. I know this reaction is not of God and that is something I must remind myself every time I see people spend over 100 dollars or more on coffee.
God calls us to love everyone and I know that there are many, many people who need help in other parts of the world. My prayer for myself is that I learn to desire to help everyone.
God is good in that I now know where I am going to school next semester. After all the confusion and worry and doubt I now know I will be attending Trinity Christian College. It is so great. I feel a peace about the place. Praise God for that answered prayer.
And now it's time to reapply to ASP. Already I am praying for another summer of extremely hard work. I sit here now and my heart wants to beat out of my chest because I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me this next chapter in my life. Praise God for his faithfulness.
Merry Christmas
Where I am going
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Where are We?
Something happened at work today that shocked me. I thought it would be very interesting for all of you to hear about what went on.
To begin...
We had a regular customer come in today. She comes in everyday and gets the same mocha. Double cupped because she doesn't like having a sleeve on her drink. She is a kind person and makes regular small talk with me. We tend to stay on light subjects such as weather, football, or golf. Furthermore, she is generally in a good mood.
However, today when she came in I asked my usual, "How are you doing today?"
"Not good," she replied, "The Ike is shut down again because this stupid person was walking... 'WALKING' (throwing hands in the air) on the highway and got hit and died. Now there is only one lane open and I am so late for work."
I stood there and wanted to throw the five dollar drink in this lady's face. Someone just died! I am terribly sorry this is so inconveniencing for you. But what about this persons kids? Or wife? They have to deal with and are probably dealing with right now as I am typing the death of their loved one.
I stood there as this customer was complaining about how it wasn't the drivers fault because it is illegal to walk on highways thinking to myself, I wonder why this person was walking on the highway. Did their car break down? Did he have a car? Why didn't he take the bus? Could he afford the bus?
These thoughts were whirling around in my head until I realized that the customer was still pretty upset and complaining.
As soon as he left the next customer in line said, "yeah that's tough."
"I know right," I returned, "I hope the family is ok."
"Yeah I hate it when I am late to work."
AHHHHHHHH
What has happened to us? Where are we as a society. A person dies and the only thing we care about is the fact that the Eisenhower went down to one lane for an hour. It saddens my heart that people today can't feel for each other. We can't or don't care about the repercussions of death.
Which brings me to the more frightening and even more sad part of my story.
Was this guy a believer?
Did he go to heaven?
Does his family have hope to see him again some day?
It says in Romans that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Did this guy know that fact? Had anyone ever talked to him about Christ?
It is sad that in Wheaton, one of the most "Christiany," places in the world there isn't discussion about this man's eternal fate.
But this makes sense really. You see today's Christians don't want to talk about Hell. Everyone goes to heaven according to some modern day pastors. But I wonder, if someone had, had some courage to speak to this man about Heaven and Hell would there be any doubt that this man was going to Heaven.
Now I didn't know this man and he may have been a steadfast Christian but I have to wonder. And I have to voice the fact that this man had a good chance of not being saved.
But I also feel like I can't go around talking about how everyone is going to go to Hell if they don't become a Christian right now.... That rarely works.
But I can say that all have fallen short of the glory of God but he has a FREE gift of eternal life for us.
This idea leads me to more questions.
Why don't I tell people that?
Christ's story is a story of hope and I think that Christians like me need to be willing to become a little less comfortable and a little more confrontational and tell people the reality that they will be going to Hell if they don't believe in Jesus and only Jesus as their savior.
Today was weird. I have never thought about the eternal ramifications of physical death. Unfortunately, we can't convince everyone who dies that Christ is Lord but that doesn't mean we can't try.
To begin...
We had a regular customer come in today. She comes in everyday and gets the same mocha. Double cupped because she doesn't like having a sleeve on her drink. She is a kind person and makes regular small talk with me. We tend to stay on light subjects such as weather, football, or golf. Furthermore, she is generally in a good mood.
However, today when she came in I asked my usual, "How are you doing today?"
"Not good," she replied, "The Ike is shut down again because this stupid person was walking... 'WALKING' (throwing hands in the air) on the highway and got hit and died. Now there is only one lane open and I am so late for work."
I stood there and wanted to throw the five dollar drink in this lady's face. Someone just died! I am terribly sorry this is so inconveniencing for you. But what about this persons kids? Or wife? They have to deal with and are probably dealing with right now as I am typing the death of their loved one.
I stood there as this customer was complaining about how it wasn't the drivers fault because it is illegal to walk on highways thinking to myself, I wonder why this person was walking on the highway. Did their car break down? Did he have a car? Why didn't he take the bus? Could he afford the bus?
These thoughts were whirling around in my head until I realized that the customer was still pretty upset and complaining.
As soon as he left the next customer in line said, "yeah that's tough."
"I know right," I returned, "I hope the family is ok."
"Yeah I hate it when I am late to work."
AHHHHHHHH
What has happened to us? Where are we as a society. A person dies and the only thing we care about is the fact that the Eisenhower went down to one lane for an hour. It saddens my heart that people today can't feel for each other. We can't or don't care about the repercussions of death.
Which brings me to the more frightening and even more sad part of my story.
Was this guy a believer?
Did he go to heaven?
Does his family have hope to see him again some day?
It says in Romans that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Did this guy know that fact? Had anyone ever talked to him about Christ?
It is sad that in Wheaton, one of the most "Christiany," places in the world there isn't discussion about this man's eternal fate.
But this makes sense really. You see today's Christians don't want to talk about Hell. Everyone goes to heaven according to some modern day pastors. But I wonder, if someone had, had some courage to speak to this man about Heaven and Hell would there be any doubt that this man was going to Heaven.
Now I didn't know this man and he may have been a steadfast Christian but I have to wonder. And I have to voice the fact that this man had a good chance of not being saved.
But I also feel like I can't go around talking about how everyone is going to go to Hell if they don't become a Christian right now.... That rarely works.
But I can say that all have fallen short of the glory of God but he has a FREE gift of eternal life for us.
This idea leads me to more questions.
Why don't I tell people that?
Christ's story is a story of hope and I think that Christians like me need to be willing to become a little less comfortable and a little more confrontational and tell people the reality that they will be going to Hell if they don't believe in Jesus and only Jesus as their savior.
Today was weird. I have never thought about the eternal ramifications of physical death. Unfortunately, we can't convince everyone who dies that Christ is Lord but that doesn't mean we can't try.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Being Home
Well my life is getting back to normal.
I am no longer living out of a suitcase
or sleeping on an air mattress
In fact, I haven't woken up with new bug bites since I've gotten back.
Now that I am home it is so interesting to see the world through my new understanding. Some things are just not important anymore. We went about three hours without any water one day this week it is was interesting to see my families reaction to it. Now my family is not a family of complainers it is just interesting.
My brother needed to use the bathroom but stopped himself when he realized that he wouldn't be able to flush the toilet. I remember working on a family's home this summer where the entire house smelt of feces. The reason for this is because this family hadn't had water for over three months and they couldn't afford to buy water to throw down their toilet. So they would let it sit..... and sit.
And eventually when it got really full they would go buy two gallons of water and pour it down the toilet which effectively flushed the toilet.
How people live differently in different parts of the world amazes me.
What shocks me is that most people in the US would think my story just described someone who lives in a third world or "developing county." However this place I am talking about is less that ten hours driving time away from where I live now.
Furthermore, the houses in the area I live are so huge. Right now I am sitting in my living room where there is enough space on the floor for me to lay down and spread out. Also, there is an office, and a guest bedroom in my house.
In Appalachia most people sleep in a room with at least one other person if not more. Houses here are so big. I am also cool, well fed, clean (ish), and well rested. These things I came to miss about home while in Appalachia are the very things that I am shocked to see.
I believe the word is culture shock....
I never expected to come home and think about the things people are buying as a homes figure. I also never thought I would think that my single story house would or could even be considered huge.
I almost laugh now when my parents think something is dirty because where I was for the summer it wasn't uncommon to see dog poop laying inside the house, or ants waltzing through a room.
I am not totally convinced that culture shock is a bad thing either. I believe that organizations, churches, and people try to convince us that culture shock needs to be alleviated by a "decompression time" or a, "debriefing exercise." I disagree.
I am having to wrestle with this new found judgement towards other people. I am having to realize that God has given me a great place to live and be grateful for that. And I need to learn not to forget the people I came to love in Appalachia. Those people who were incredibly happy despite their poverty.
Do I miss ASP?
Yes. But I am so happy to be home. I missed my family, friends, and comforts of living in a suburb. I am so happy to not have every minute of every day planned out. However, not working and not going to school is kind of weird to me. I just don't know what to do with myself.
I blogged earlier about the path my life has taken the last year and I am so excited now because I live in anticipation for what is to come. Where is God going to take me next. What does He have in mind for me now.
In a nut shell, what God did over this summer makes everything else seem so trivial. God can use me in so many ways but too many times I get in the way. So I am practicing taking myself out of the way of God and letting him do the action.
This makes me anticipate the next year.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
To Whom it May Conern
This blog was written three weeks ago but due to no connection now is the first time I am able to post.
Ten weeks ago my dad was dropping me off at The Porch where there were a bunch of people my age wearing really cheap sunglasses. I believe Disney music was playing and I knew absolutely no one.
Going back further six months ago I was attending a weekend long interview to decide whether or not I would get a job.
Even further to one year ago I was in Ecuador building a home for Eduardo and his family.
And now I am sitting in a Starbucks thinking about my experience.
When I consider the places I have gone and the people I have seen there are too many people to thank and not enough time in the world to explain the gratitude I have to ASP, Sunbright, Morgan county, my staff, family, and God.
However there are certain people who I will never forget. These people have changed me forever and the direction of my life has certainly been impacted by the way we have interacted.
Wanda, you are the most amazing person. You work hard and you make amazing cornbread. You remind me of my grandmother and you helped me get through this summer. You also helped me enjoy the job I absolutely didn't want. You know how to help people and your love for others is incredible. I would wake up in the morning and be excited to go into the kitchen because I knew your smiling face would be there. Your easy going laughter was infectious and the way you interacted with the volunteers removed so much stress from me. You have no idea of much thankful I am for being able to work with you this summer.
Julie, seeing your knowledge with ASP grow was incredible. It seemed like every day you worked this summer you were more and more excited to be there. You gave of your time and I do know about the money you spent for our food that you didn't let me know about. Thank you so much, you taught me about the joy that comes from helping others this summer. I thank you for having us in your house and letting us enjoy life with you. Your passion to help in anyway you could was truly an inspiration to me. You helped me feel like I was doing a good job even though I didn't know what I was doing. Thank you.
Rachel, you fooled me. I thought you were quiet and reserved. However the mornings we spent waiting for the order to come proved that wrong. I never would have gotten through this summer without you. Your leadership and solid planning helped me so much to stay on budget and move forward. I feel like I owe you more than anyone else this summer because you let me lead even though you knew exactly what needed to happen. For this I thank you. Without you, Wanda, and Julie this summer would have been completely different.
There was a boy at a family that we worked for all summer. He was shy at first. I thought he wouldn't like me because I was only there for like thirty minutes every other day. This boy changed the way I view things. His desire to help was unimaginable. He would run outside screaming everyday to help the volunteers as they started their work. He had no fear. He wanted to do everything. I realized he was special when he came up to me at the picnic and said, "TAG!" Jason had the most joy I have ever seen in anyone. He wanted to work hard and play hard. He lives in a rat, mold, and roach infested house with his mother and grandmother. We tried all summer to make his home a livable place for a boy his age. Jason you showed me what it means to be happy. Not just contend with your position in life but what it truly means to be happy. Thank you for that, I will never forget it for as long as I live. I hope that our paths will cross in the future. Be safe in life my friend.
Angie, I use your name because I know that you would prefer it. Angie has cancer and has been given five years to live and she is possibly the happiest person I have ever known. She said to me one day that she was happy because she knew her family was now going to be taken care of after she was no longer with them.
This almost brings me to tears. How can a woman who has numbered days be so happy that we would be able to help them in such a small way. It made me feel really small in all honesty. I think about things like if the next work crew is going to feed me or when am I going to get paid next and she thinks about how is her family going to be after she can't be there for them anymore. I also relate to her, my mom had cancer and I have never been so scared in m entire life. It is the most terrifying thing a person can go through. But every day I would walk into Angie's house and she would be smiling and joking around. Angie you showed me what it means to have joy in the midst of trouble. You taught me about happiness in the moment and being grateful for what God has given you. I feel so blessed to have gotten to know you and I want you to know that you deserve so much more than we were able to give you. Something i never told you is that you really reminded me of my mom back home. Thank you for your love and support throughout the summer you blessed me far more than I was able to bless you.
Mikah, you started as the CD I didn't know and you ended up being the CD who I came to love. Your organization and ability to juggle a thousand things at once made my summer incredibly easy. Your kind words came at exactly the right time and your understanding when I screwed up made working for you incredibly easy. So thank you. You made me laugh more than you know and every time you would turn up the heat in Snowbird made me chuckle inside. It also made me sweat like no other but that is neither here nor there. Thank you for being the level headed person who would stay up late and work so that we as your staff could get things done. Your encouragement throughout the summer helped me to truly realize what it means to work for ASP. So thank you and when you come to Chicago I will take you to the coolest places ever.... maybe. Talk to you soon Mike-Mike
Penny Pope, I was going to try and use only p words for this but it is kind of impossible. Your attitude towards everything made working with you so easy. Thank you so much for helping me learn to like country music i appreciate it. I love how you would crack up about things that normally aren't funny but in to you are extremely funny which in turn makes all of us laugh. You helped me this summer keep a smile on my face. Especially that day when you were freaking out because you were CD for a week and we had to drive all over the place. Sorry I couldn't cheer you up very well but hey I tried. Also thank you for shotgunning monsters with me. Overall Penny your desire to help others is obvious, I feel like you more than anyone else on our staff was there to help the people. You liked the volunteers and you loved our homeowners. Thank you so much for being the worlds best returner. That's right it is written down you are the WORLDS best returner.
Jolean. What can be said about Jolean. We started out the summer disagreeing about a lot of things.... and we ended up the summer the same way kinda. You rock because you did things on the computer that I really didn't want to do. Thank you for being my fellow first year. I had such a great time annoying you and making you angry this summer ; ) You were kind of like my twin brother for the summer. Something I always tell him is that my annoying him is my way of showing that I love him. You were the reason I would be smiling a lot of the time because you are sooo funny. Thank you so much for helping make this summer a great first year at ASP. See you on the porch next year fellow returner.
There are so many people I want to thank still but it would just take too long. So here is my list of people that really impacted me in my first experience with ASP. Mom, Dad. Ethan, Luke, Priscilla, The Z's, Mildrid, Craig, Rachel, Steven, Collin, JJ, Joe, Jen, and most importantly God.
God did so much in me this last summer and looking back at the past blogs and my last year God has answered a prayer. I have found a passion for loving the poor. Thank you God truly you are the only one I long to serve for as long as I live. I love you.
Ten weeks ago my dad was dropping me off at The Porch where there were a bunch of people my age wearing really cheap sunglasses. I believe Disney music was playing and I knew absolutely no one.
Going back further six months ago I was attending a weekend long interview to decide whether or not I would get a job.
Even further to one year ago I was in Ecuador building a home for Eduardo and his family.
And now I am sitting in a Starbucks thinking about my experience.
When I consider the places I have gone and the people I have seen there are too many people to thank and not enough time in the world to explain the gratitude I have to ASP, Sunbright, Morgan county, my staff, family, and God.
However there are certain people who I will never forget. These people have changed me forever and the direction of my life has certainly been impacted by the way we have interacted.
Wanda, you are the most amazing person. You work hard and you make amazing cornbread. You remind me of my grandmother and you helped me get through this summer. You also helped me enjoy the job I absolutely didn't want. You know how to help people and your love for others is incredible. I would wake up in the morning and be excited to go into the kitchen because I knew your smiling face would be there. Your easy going laughter was infectious and the way you interacted with the volunteers removed so much stress from me. You have no idea of much thankful I am for being able to work with you this summer.
Julie, seeing your knowledge with ASP grow was incredible. It seemed like every day you worked this summer you were more and more excited to be there. You gave of your time and I do know about the money you spent for our food that you didn't let me know about. Thank you so much, you taught me about the joy that comes from helping others this summer. I thank you for having us in your house and letting us enjoy life with you. Your passion to help in anyway you could was truly an inspiration to me. You helped me feel like I was doing a good job even though I didn't know what I was doing. Thank you.
Rachel, you fooled me. I thought you were quiet and reserved. However the mornings we spent waiting for the order to come proved that wrong. I never would have gotten through this summer without you. Your leadership and solid planning helped me so much to stay on budget and move forward. I feel like I owe you more than anyone else this summer because you let me lead even though you knew exactly what needed to happen. For this I thank you. Without you, Wanda, and Julie this summer would have been completely different.
There was a boy at a family that we worked for all summer. He was shy at first. I thought he wouldn't like me because I was only there for like thirty minutes every other day. This boy changed the way I view things. His desire to help was unimaginable. He would run outside screaming everyday to help the volunteers as they started their work. He had no fear. He wanted to do everything. I realized he was special when he came up to me at the picnic and said, "TAG!" Jason had the most joy I have ever seen in anyone. He wanted to work hard and play hard. He lives in a rat, mold, and roach infested house with his mother and grandmother. We tried all summer to make his home a livable place for a boy his age. Jason you showed me what it means to be happy. Not just contend with your position in life but what it truly means to be happy. Thank you for that, I will never forget it for as long as I live. I hope that our paths will cross in the future. Be safe in life my friend.
Angie, I use your name because I know that you would prefer it. Angie has cancer and has been given five years to live and she is possibly the happiest person I have ever known. She said to me one day that she was happy because she knew her family was now going to be taken care of after she was no longer with them.
This almost brings me to tears. How can a woman who has numbered days be so happy that we would be able to help them in such a small way. It made me feel really small in all honesty. I think about things like if the next work crew is going to feed me or when am I going to get paid next and she thinks about how is her family going to be after she can't be there for them anymore. I also relate to her, my mom had cancer and I have never been so scared in m entire life. It is the most terrifying thing a person can go through. But every day I would walk into Angie's house and she would be smiling and joking around. Angie you showed me what it means to have joy in the midst of trouble. You taught me about happiness in the moment and being grateful for what God has given you. I feel so blessed to have gotten to know you and I want you to know that you deserve so much more than we were able to give you. Something i never told you is that you really reminded me of my mom back home. Thank you for your love and support throughout the summer you blessed me far more than I was able to bless you.
Mikah, you started as the CD I didn't know and you ended up being the CD who I came to love. Your organization and ability to juggle a thousand things at once made my summer incredibly easy. Your kind words came at exactly the right time and your understanding when I screwed up made working for you incredibly easy. So thank you. You made me laugh more than you know and every time you would turn up the heat in Snowbird made me chuckle inside. It also made me sweat like no other but that is neither here nor there. Thank you for being the level headed person who would stay up late and work so that we as your staff could get things done. Your encouragement throughout the summer helped me to truly realize what it means to work for ASP. So thank you and when you come to Chicago I will take you to the coolest places ever.... maybe. Talk to you soon Mike-Mike
Penny Pope, I was going to try and use only p words for this but it is kind of impossible. Your attitude towards everything made working with you so easy. Thank you so much for helping me learn to like country music i appreciate it. I love how you would crack up about things that normally aren't funny but in to you are extremely funny which in turn makes all of us laugh. You helped me this summer keep a smile on my face. Especially that day when you were freaking out because you were CD for a week and we had to drive all over the place. Sorry I couldn't cheer you up very well but hey I tried. Also thank you for shotgunning monsters with me. Overall Penny your desire to help others is obvious, I feel like you more than anyone else on our staff was there to help the people. You liked the volunteers and you loved our homeowners. Thank you so much for being the worlds best returner. That's right it is written down you are the WORLDS best returner.
Jolean. What can be said about Jolean. We started out the summer disagreeing about a lot of things.... and we ended up the summer the same way kinda. You rock because you did things on the computer that I really didn't want to do. Thank you for being my fellow first year. I had such a great time annoying you and making you angry this summer ; ) You were kind of like my twin brother for the summer. Something I always tell him is that my annoying him is my way of showing that I love him. You were the reason I would be smiling a lot of the time because you are sooo funny. Thank you so much for helping make this summer a great first year at ASP. See you on the porch next year fellow returner.
There are so many people I want to thank still but it would just take too long. So here is my list of people that really impacted me in my first experience with ASP. Mom, Dad. Ethan, Luke, Priscilla, The Z's, Mildrid, Craig, Rachel, Steven, Collin, JJ, Joe, Jen, and most importantly God.
God did so much in me this last summer and looking back at the past blogs and my last year God has answered a prayer. I have found a passion for loving the poor. Thank you God truly you are the only one I long to serve for as long as I live. I love you.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Group Leaders, Devos, and Monsters... What a Summer
To say the least, this summer is one I will never forget. From the people I have met to the experiences I've had.
I had an opportunity last week to reflect on what exactly I've been through this summer. It has been incredible. I feel so close to my staff. They are family. It was one of my biggest fears that me and my staff wouldn't get to know each other and we wouldn't have the fellowship that comes with serving God together. God answered this prayer and has done even more than that.
We are now talking about what is going to happen after the summer. How are we going to keep in touch. These people who I spend twenty four hours a day with are incredible. They define what it means to work hard. The encourage me not to cut corners, and they make me want to be better.
We finally hit our stride. We are getting through staff meetings early, we are able to talk with each other as friends. There is very little we keep from each other.
I can't believe we are going to be leaving each other in three weeks. It saddens me. My mind is in conflict with this reality. On the one hand I can not wait to be home and be able to just stop and do nothing (if only for a week before school starts again). Also with home comes family, comfort, friends, and future. All of these things are great and I am ready to embrace these things again.
However, this job (if it can actually be called a job) has brought about so much knowledge. I feel comfortable determining which size of fastener needs to be going into which type of wood. I feel as if I know how and could instruct people on how to build a porch, wall, stairs, roofing. Construction is not the only thing I've learned this summer. I am learning that people do things differently than we ask them. Sometimes putting in insulation is not just putting in insulation. Sometimes, people don't do exactly as you say and there is nothing that can be done.
God has taught me about being flexible. We need to go with the punches. I thought I had already mastered this ability. The idea that I have mastered something like changing my plans due to others mistakes was laughable before ASP. Group leaders however smart they are, definitely taught me how to truly be flexible.
Group leaders have also given me great joy. I will never forget a group leader from week two asking if this was my first year with ASP and then being shocked and saying, "I've been to ASP for 7 years and you are the best male leader I have ever had."
Furthermore, GL's that say to me that I have been incredibly encouraging to them and have helped their ASP experience be a success have touched me greatly. These people are being impacted daily and what they don't realize is that they are impacting me more than I can possibly impact them.
The group leaders, volunteers, and the people we are serving have taught me more than I could have ever asked for.
The landscape here is so beautiful. I love this area, the winding roads are kind of annoying but it is amazing none the less. Every time I look outside I see Ecuador. This is continually surprising me. Why am i stuck on thinking about Ecuador. What is going on. I drive through areas where mountains surround me and all I can think about is how these mountains remind me so much of Ecuador. I miss Ecuador and the bustling city sitting on the mountains. This is a good thing in my mind because I never want to forget the experience I had in Ecuador. God changed me so much there and if it wasn't for that trip I am not sure if I would be with ASP now.
As the summer passes my mind drifts to the difficulties that await me going home. College, work, money, grades. All of these things cause me to worry, and doubt. ASP has been such a release, it has caused me to stop and think about something completely different.
I feel as if my summer can be described with this story.
Week 1 in Morgan county:
me: Hey guys can we start to shotgun monsters (it's an energy drink and a crazy way to drink a beverage real quickly usually done with beer, but because we are not drinking alcohol we use monsters)?
Penny: Oke doke smokey!
Jolean: I don't drink energy drinks they are bad for your teeth
Mikah: Do what you want but don't die
Me and Penny proceed to buy Monsters cut a hole in the bottom and attempt to shotgun these monsters. About fifty percent of this energy drink ends up on my shirt and neck while Penny just slowly finishes hers.
My thoughts were that I did pretty well for this being my first shotguned beverage ever.
Week 2:
Penny to me: You ready Freddy?
Me: For what?
Penny: Shotgun monday!
Me: Yes totally I swear I am going to get better at this, Jolean come shotgun with us!
Jolean: Eww
(Mikah is doing work right now)
Me and Penny go shotgun monsters, once again I need to change my shirt afterwords because I suck at it. Penny somewhat finishes kinda.
My thoughts, well I didn't really improve any this week but at least I am trying.
Week 3:
Pretty much the same conversations as before with me and Penny shotgunning with the CPO of ASP of which he beats me and leaves me feeling embarrassed. However, I did improve this week. I had just made a small mistake. But I get the concepts.
Week 4:
We decided to up the days of shotgunning Monsters to two a week because Penny's parents bought us a large amount of Monster. But I have become a fairly good Monster shotgunner. I don't ever need to change my shirt after I shotgun and I have good form.
Now try if you would to relate this to how my life has been spiritually, physically, and mentally this summer so far. The first week I definitely was not good at what I was doing at all. I had to have instructions on everything. Week 2 I was able to start to do a little on my own but overall I was still a noob and there was no way I could have done things on my own. Week 3: I felt comfortable enough with where I was at to try and go it alone and I was willing to crash and burn in front of our CPO if I was going to. Week 4 things seem to have clicked. I am able to work well with what I need to do, and am feeling comfortable with all of my projects.
As far as my spiritual life has been going I hope everyone can see the way God has moved in me even though the time to sit and be still in front of Him hasn't been present. I am making my way through Acts and I feel like I am reading stuff I've never read. One verse keeps coming into my mind. It talks about how is it possible to be judgmental towards the people God has chosen.
I have gotten to work with all sorts of people this summer and some have been better than others, but God has chosen each and every one of them to use as His instruments. Praise God for this.
Probably the most frustrating part of this summer is that I am not able to show the people I really care about back home what exactly I do here. It is so hard to explain everything that happens on ASP without them being here.
So what happens next? Where do I go from here. I am over halfway done with the summer and school starts soon. What is going to happen when I get back home?
This question is placed in my blog for a very specific reason. My biggest prayer request right now is decisions about school. I have a lot of conflict on where I should go this next semester. I don't want to go crazy in debt, but I feel like if I don't get moving in school then the chances of me becoming a doctor become less and less likely. I know my heart is in helping others, but is medicine where God is leading me? I feel as if I am having to fight my way toward the goal I feel God has set before me. I see other ways that I can help people. Ways I am good at, where I can succeed. So the biggest request for me right now is that God would clear my mind of all my doubts and would show me how I am supposed to deal with this newest school obstacle.
I miss all of you back home and I wish you were here with me. I love you all and know that I think about you daily.
I had an opportunity last week to reflect on what exactly I've been through this summer. It has been incredible. I feel so close to my staff. They are family. It was one of my biggest fears that me and my staff wouldn't get to know each other and we wouldn't have the fellowship that comes with serving God together. God answered this prayer and has done even more than that.
We are now talking about what is going to happen after the summer. How are we going to keep in touch. These people who I spend twenty four hours a day with are incredible. They define what it means to work hard. The encourage me not to cut corners, and they make me want to be better.
We finally hit our stride. We are getting through staff meetings early, we are able to talk with each other as friends. There is very little we keep from each other.
I can't believe we are going to be leaving each other in three weeks. It saddens me. My mind is in conflict with this reality. On the one hand I can not wait to be home and be able to just stop and do nothing (if only for a week before school starts again). Also with home comes family, comfort, friends, and future. All of these things are great and I am ready to embrace these things again.
However, this job (if it can actually be called a job) has brought about so much knowledge. I feel comfortable determining which size of fastener needs to be going into which type of wood. I feel as if I know how and could instruct people on how to build a porch, wall, stairs, roofing. Construction is not the only thing I've learned this summer. I am learning that people do things differently than we ask them. Sometimes putting in insulation is not just putting in insulation. Sometimes, people don't do exactly as you say and there is nothing that can be done.
God has taught me about being flexible. We need to go with the punches. I thought I had already mastered this ability. The idea that I have mastered something like changing my plans due to others mistakes was laughable before ASP. Group leaders however smart they are, definitely taught me how to truly be flexible.
Group leaders have also given me great joy. I will never forget a group leader from week two asking if this was my first year with ASP and then being shocked and saying, "I've been to ASP for 7 years and you are the best male leader I have ever had."
Furthermore, GL's that say to me that I have been incredibly encouraging to them and have helped their ASP experience be a success have touched me greatly. These people are being impacted daily and what they don't realize is that they are impacting me more than I can possibly impact them.
The group leaders, volunteers, and the people we are serving have taught me more than I could have ever asked for.
The landscape here is so beautiful. I love this area, the winding roads are kind of annoying but it is amazing none the less. Every time I look outside I see Ecuador. This is continually surprising me. Why am i stuck on thinking about Ecuador. What is going on. I drive through areas where mountains surround me and all I can think about is how these mountains remind me so much of Ecuador. I miss Ecuador and the bustling city sitting on the mountains. This is a good thing in my mind because I never want to forget the experience I had in Ecuador. God changed me so much there and if it wasn't for that trip I am not sure if I would be with ASP now.
As the summer passes my mind drifts to the difficulties that await me going home. College, work, money, grades. All of these things cause me to worry, and doubt. ASP has been such a release, it has caused me to stop and think about something completely different.
I feel as if my summer can be described with this story.
Week 1 in Morgan county:
me: Hey guys can we start to shotgun monsters (it's an energy drink and a crazy way to drink a beverage real quickly usually done with beer, but because we are not drinking alcohol we use monsters)?
Penny: Oke doke smokey!
Jolean: I don't drink energy drinks they are bad for your teeth
Mikah: Do what you want but don't die
Me and Penny proceed to buy Monsters cut a hole in the bottom and attempt to shotgun these monsters. About fifty percent of this energy drink ends up on my shirt and neck while Penny just slowly finishes hers.
My thoughts were that I did pretty well for this being my first shotguned beverage ever.
Week 2:
Penny to me: You ready Freddy?
Me: For what?
Penny: Shotgun monday!
Me: Yes totally I swear I am going to get better at this, Jolean come shotgun with us!
Jolean: Eww
(Mikah is doing work right now)
Me and Penny go shotgun monsters, once again I need to change my shirt afterwords because I suck at it. Penny somewhat finishes kinda.
My thoughts, well I didn't really improve any this week but at least I am trying.
Week 3:
Pretty much the same conversations as before with me and Penny shotgunning with the CPO of ASP of which he beats me and leaves me feeling embarrassed. However, I did improve this week. I had just made a small mistake. But I get the concepts.
Week 4:
We decided to up the days of shotgunning Monsters to two a week because Penny's parents bought us a large amount of Monster. But I have become a fairly good Monster shotgunner. I don't ever need to change my shirt after I shotgun and I have good form.
Now try if you would to relate this to how my life has been spiritually, physically, and mentally this summer so far. The first week I definitely was not good at what I was doing at all. I had to have instructions on everything. Week 2 I was able to start to do a little on my own but overall I was still a noob and there was no way I could have done things on my own. Week 3: I felt comfortable enough with where I was at to try and go it alone and I was willing to crash and burn in front of our CPO if I was going to. Week 4 things seem to have clicked. I am able to work well with what I need to do, and am feeling comfortable with all of my projects.
As far as my spiritual life has been going I hope everyone can see the way God has moved in me even though the time to sit and be still in front of Him hasn't been present. I am making my way through Acts and I feel like I am reading stuff I've never read. One verse keeps coming into my mind. It talks about how is it possible to be judgmental towards the people God has chosen.
I have gotten to work with all sorts of people this summer and some have been better than others, but God has chosen each and every one of them to use as His instruments. Praise God for this.
Probably the most frustrating part of this summer is that I am not able to show the people I really care about back home what exactly I do here. It is so hard to explain everything that happens on ASP without them being here.
So what happens next? Where do I go from here. I am over halfway done with the summer and school starts soon. What is going to happen when I get back home?
This question is placed in my blog for a very specific reason. My biggest prayer request right now is decisions about school. I have a lot of conflict on where I should go this next semester. I don't want to go crazy in debt, but I feel like if I don't get moving in school then the chances of me becoming a doctor become less and less likely. I know my heart is in helping others, but is medicine where God is leading me? I feel as if I am having to fight my way toward the goal I feel God has set before me. I see other ways that I can help people. Ways I am good at, where I can succeed. So the biggest request for me right now is that God would clear my mind of all my doubts and would show me how I am supposed to deal with this newest school obstacle.
I miss all of you back home and I wish you were here with me. I love you all and know that I think about you daily.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Charlie, Three Step, and Staffers... What a Summer
Reality.
This is a hard job.
We are about finished with week three and I am beat. God has done so much for me this summer and I realized today (again for like the twentieth time) that He put me here to serve him. It is incredible how much God has done.
Volunteers are great and they really seem to be enjoying their week here. It's hard for me to lead them and not jump in there and help do the work myself.
I realized I needed to take a different view on what I am doing here. Not only am I here to help people who are living in poverty, but I need to facilitate a week where volunteers can truly have an experience with God.
It's difficult because the way I worship and lead at home is not the way that is known here.
I am so excited about God and my joy is hard to contain. I am going to try and lead the worship like I do back home for my volunteers on Friday and see how they take to it.
While on the subject of volunteers I just need to say that the willingness of volunteers to do work is something that continually amazes me. I feel like if I told them to build a wall 12' high and then take it down move it 2" to the left and then rebuild it, they would. I appreciate them so much because I can only provide the opportunity for them to do the work. I cannot do the work myself and they are out there everyday doing the things I don't really want to do.
My day off is tomorrow. WOOT!!
I cannot wait for this day. There is a habitat store down the road from us and they are selling really cheap golf clubs and I am going to go to the driving range tomorrow!!!!
I am so excited.
Something I realized this last weekend though is that it is going to be so hard to say goodbye to all of my friends here. They are incredible. My staff has bonded so well. We laugh so much and I think we work very well together.
But furthermore, my staffers who aren't in my county. I am going to miss them. I cannot believe the summer is almost half over. Incredible.
Absolutely incredible.
I do still need prayer however. My job literally starts from at the latest seven AM and ends around 1ish AM every morning. I have very little time for myself, and even less time for God and this is hard. I am still struggling to find a balance between what I am doing and what I can do to be closer to God. I cannot just have one devo every other week. This is a huge prayer request for me.
Thank you everyone back home whom I really, really miss. Come visit me!!!!
This is a hard job.
We are about finished with week three and I am beat. God has done so much for me this summer and I realized today (again for like the twentieth time) that He put me here to serve him. It is incredible how much God has done.
Volunteers are great and they really seem to be enjoying their week here. It's hard for me to lead them and not jump in there and help do the work myself.
I realized I needed to take a different view on what I am doing here. Not only am I here to help people who are living in poverty, but I need to facilitate a week where volunteers can truly have an experience with God.
It's difficult because the way I worship and lead at home is not the way that is known here.
I am so excited about God and my joy is hard to contain. I am going to try and lead the worship like I do back home for my volunteers on Friday and see how they take to it.
While on the subject of volunteers I just need to say that the willingness of volunteers to do work is something that continually amazes me. I feel like if I told them to build a wall 12' high and then take it down move it 2" to the left and then rebuild it, they would. I appreciate them so much because I can only provide the opportunity for them to do the work. I cannot do the work myself and they are out there everyday doing the things I don't really want to do.
My day off is tomorrow. WOOT!!
I cannot wait for this day. There is a habitat store down the road from us and they are selling really cheap golf clubs and I am going to go to the driving range tomorrow!!!!
I am so excited.
Something I realized this last weekend though is that it is going to be so hard to say goodbye to all of my friends here. They are incredible. My staff has bonded so well. We laugh so much and I think we work very well together.
But furthermore, my staffers who aren't in my county. I am going to miss them. I cannot believe the summer is almost half over. Incredible.
Absolutely incredible.
I do still need prayer however. My job literally starts from at the latest seven AM and ends around 1ish AM every morning. I have very little time for myself, and even less time for God and this is hard. I am still struggling to find a balance between what I am doing and what I can do to be closer to God. I cannot just have one devo every other week. This is a huge prayer request for me.
Thank you everyone back home whom I really, really miss. Come visit me!!!!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
How One Week Changed my Life
I feel as if I need to explain why I decided to come to Appalachia and serve. There are so many things that impact people in life to do things and one week almost a year ago that happened for me.
I had an opportunity to go to Ecuador for a week and serve by building a home for a family. This family was great and they deserved the home we were able to build for them.
But that is not where my story begins. Before I went to Ecuador I had been on several missions trips and in fact even though I don't really agree with going on a trip every year I have been on a trip every year since my junior year in high school. This is an interesting point because as I am thinking about it I never planned on going to Rockford or Ecuador. These trips kind of fell in my lap. At the time I would never had guessed God had been preparing me for this.
When i went to Rockford i found out that I was going legitimately a week before I left for the trip. I was able to pay for the trip myself and I didn't need to send out any support levels. That trip changed me. For the first time in my life I started to feel God pull my heart toward helping people in need. Furthermore, God started showing me the way the Church has failed in doing things for the poor and needy. The Church should be a movement, not a building. Looking back I can see now how God has been in every aspect in my life molding me for this trip. When I went to Rockford God taught me to depend on him for energy. This supernatural energy only comes from him. It's as if when I ask God for energy he gives me a glass of fresh water that fills me to the brim. When I am depending on Him I am able to do so much more. I have energy when others are tired. God rocked my life on that trip.
And then there was Ecuador.
However on a side note I feel like it is so interesting how we as God's children are never satisfied when it comes to growing in God. We only get tastes as Christians here on earth. We cannot and should not be satisfied with just getting energy from God to do his work. He wants to do so much more in us and through us.
There is a verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that says, And now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. I was having a conversation with a good friend before I left for Appalachia about this passage and I realize now that faith and hope are going to disappear but love will always be there.
In Ecuador God showed me the meaning of love.
When we got to give a house to Eduardo and his family it was hands down the most obvious example of Christ's love for us that I have ever seen. Christ died for us and gave us something that we don't deserve and cannot afford. In the same way my work crew was able to give Eduardo something that he could not afford, and something that in his mind he didn't deserve.
Ecuador changed my life.
I remember praying for weeks before going that God would change me in some radical way. HELLO I AM IN APPALACHIA!!!!!
God changed my life in a week and I am now spending eight or nine weeks of summer in Appalachia doing His work.
It is so incredibly sad that the homes I am seeing here are just as bad or worse than the homes in Ecuador. This should not be.
How can we as Christians live in luxury while there are children sitting without clothes on top of plywood in trailers that have crazy bug infestations.
How can we as Christians who live in luxury be o.k. with letting elderly people not have windows in their homes, or ceilings above their heads. This should not be.
God is teaching me to feel love for these strangers.
Love for these people who live in flyover land.
Love for these people who look weird, speak differently, and are filthy.
If someone had asked me five years ago if A) Do I think I would be living in a school working ridiculous hours serving the poor for the whole summer? and B) Do I even know what Appalachia is? I would have laughed and said no.
Christ moved me and I feel like I can zero in on the one week in Ecuador when I really felt God calling me to serve him in this way.
I had an opportunity to go to Ecuador for a week and serve by building a home for a family. This family was great and they deserved the home we were able to build for them.
But that is not where my story begins. Before I went to Ecuador I had been on several missions trips and in fact even though I don't really agree with going on a trip every year I have been on a trip every year since my junior year in high school. This is an interesting point because as I am thinking about it I never planned on going to Rockford or Ecuador. These trips kind of fell in my lap. At the time I would never had guessed God had been preparing me for this.
When i went to Rockford i found out that I was going legitimately a week before I left for the trip. I was able to pay for the trip myself and I didn't need to send out any support levels. That trip changed me. For the first time in my life I started to feel God pull my heart toward helping people in need. Furthermore, God started showing me the way the Church has failed in doing things for the poor and needy. The Church should be a movement, not a building. Looking back I can see now how God has been in every aspect in my life molding me for this trip. When I went to Rockford God taught me to depend on him for energy. This supernatural energy only comes from him. It's as if when I ask God for energy he gives me a glass of fresh water that fills me to the brim. When I am depending on Him I am able to do so much more. I have energy when others are tired. God rocked my life on that trip.
And then there was Ecuador.
However on a side note I feel like it is so interesting how we as God's children are never satisfied when it comes to growing in God. We only get tastes as Christians here on earth. We cannot and should not be satisfied with just getting energy from God to do his work. He wants to do so much more in us and through us.
There is a verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that says, And now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. I was having a conversation with a good friend before I left for Appalachia about this passage and I realize now that faith and hope are going to disappear but love will always be there.
In Ecuador God showed me the meaning of love.
When we got to give a house to Eduardo and his family it was hands down the most obvious example of Christ's love for us that I have ever seen. Christ died for us and gave us something that we don't deserve and cannot afford. In the same way my work crew was able to give Eduardo something that he could not afford, and something that in his mind he didn't deserve.
Ecuador changed my life.
I remember praying for weeks before going that God would change me in some radical way. HELLO I AM IN APPALACHIA!!!!!
God changed my life in a week and I am now spending eight or nine weeks of summer in Appalachia doing His work.
It is so incredibly sad that the homes I am seeing here are just as bad or worse than the homes in Ecuador. This should not be.
How can we as Christians live in luxury while there are children sitting without clothes on top of plywood in trailers that have crazy bug infestations.
How can we as Christians who live in luxury be o.k. with letting elderly people not have windows in their homes, or ceilings above their heads. This should not be.
God is teaching me to feel love for these strangers.
Love for these people who live in flyover land.
Love for these people who look weird, speak differently, and are filthy.
If someone had asked me five years ago if A) Do I think I would be living in a school working ridiculous hours serving the poor for the whole summer? and B) Do I even know what Appalachia is? I would have laughed and said no.
Christ moved me and I feel like I can zero in on the one week in Ecuador when I really felt God calling me to serve him in this way.
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